Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Fishing Terms...Internet style.

Ok. So I have nothing new to report about much of anything and it is the middle of the week. The fishing is decent around these parts. The Skykomish system is fishing well for pinks/Steelies, the Yakima is in typical fall shape, the salt is winding down, and the Olympic Peninsula is well...the Peninsula. Get out and feed fish flies.

Now...since I have been promising regular updates I will now present you with a dictionary of sorts for fishing terms, internet style. Beware of boredom.

LOL. (Laugh out Loud) What you do when your buddy eighty-sixes himself trying to wade a Class IV rapid to get at a piece of pocket water the size of small inner tube even though you told him he is not Brad Pitt and this is not a "River Runs Through It" and that there is a perfectly fine hole the size of the moon just 15 feet upstream where you are preceding to catch fish at an exponential rate.

ROFL. (Roll on Floor Laughing) This occurs when your fishing partner hooks himself in the ear/butt/face with a 2/0 weighted leech as he tries to cast 200 feet with a 5 wt rod in a 40 knot wind to a spot where he swears a salmon jumped. He is most likely jumping around the boat doing his best impression of the "So You Think You Can Dance" tryouts screaming expletives at you as you roll around on the deck boat laughing. Note: This should only be done while on a boat or on a hard surface as doing this in water may cause you to drown.

:) (This is a smile) The smug look you have on your face when you have finished the day catching your limit and your buddies have caught nothing because earlier they scoffed at you for tying on a Washougal Olive and said, "Hey old timer where's your cane?" And henceforth proceeded to tie on every newfangled fly they saw in last weeks publication of some east coast magazine and beat the water to death. Be careful with this look, especially if your buddies are the ones driving you home. Trying to hitchhike with dead fish is not an enjoyable experience.

QQ (Two eyes crying) What is commonly referred to as whining. Your buddies do this when they recite to you the reason they caught no fish was because you wouldn't give them a Washougal Olive. Even though you were perfectly willing to give it to them. I mean all they had to do was cross the Class V rapid, climb that 40 foot cliff and than scamper out on a rotten log to get to you. Also happens anytime a fisherman loses a fish to a snapped line, has leaky waders and everytime they read the government's plans on saving salmon/steelhead runs.

LMAO. (Laugh My Ass Off) Can be used in replacement of the ROFL if you are standing chest deep in water in a blowing snowstorm in the middle of January and your buddy hooks himself and than proceeds to eighty-six himself into the deepest hole in the river. Coincidentally what also happens when one reads Patrick McManus, David Ames or recites lines from Caddyshack (Cinderella Story, this greenskeeper...Oh it's in the hole!).

DIAF. (Die in a fire) What you tell your fishing partner over the phone as he recites the number, size, and species of fish he is catching from the river you were supposed to be on with him, but your boss pulled a Lumbergh and chained you to your cubicle for the weekend to get those TPS reports done. He coincidentally is also loling at your misfortune. Can also be used under the breath to curse poachers, floaters, and Fish and Game's approach to saving our fisheries.

And....boredom complete. Enjoy or whisper diaf at me because I took up your time in reading this.


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